Archive for Personal Development

Changes

Do you ever feel like you need to completely turn your life upside down? Make some huge changes that are completely uncharacteristic and maybe continue to seem like a bad idea no matter how much you try to rationalize them?

I've been toying around for the past few days with the idea of "jumping ship".. leaving the life that I know for an extended period of time (3-6-12 months) and trying something different. And for some reason that "something different" seems to be heading across the country and bumming around California for awhile.

Why would I want to do this? First, I feel stuck, and I feel like I need to make a change.. a big change. Maybe that would help me appreciate what it is that I have right now, maybe it'll show me something that I want more and would rather have, and maybe it would lead to a horrible mess that I spend years trying to get myself out of. I think that risk is part of the appeal. Second, right now I have very little responsibility, few things holding me back. I'm afraid if I don't try something now, that when I start thinking about it again, it won't be feasible.

Am I going to do it? Maybe. Probably not. As much as I want to think that I could face my fears and start something completely new like that, I don't think I can pull it off. Unless I ended up with a great job offer, and could find an affordable place to live, it just doesn't seem realistic, and almost self-defeating to try to go through with it.

So what's the point? I came into this post ready to list off a bunch of reasons why it was a great idea, but trying to articulate those ideas made me realize that escaping isn't what I need to do. I think we all get to this point at least once, some of us can work it out on our own, some of us turn to others, and some get tired of trying to handle it. This idea of "escaping" what ails us, our difficulties, is often more appealing than trying to face the things that need to be faced and to work through them. I guess that's the road that I have to go down.. I have to face what I don't want to face, and change what I'm resistant to change. A vacation is good, escaping.. not so much.

If anyone has any good techniques for dealing with stress/life changes – leave a comment.

I'm reading through a book right now, it seems good, but I'm reluctant to start dropping titles of books until I get to the end and can fully judge the quality. It sounds like a lot of good ideas for dealing with just this sort of thing, but I'm yet to get to anything practical and usable rather than just theory. I'd settle even for usable theory. We'll see. 🙂

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"Honestly"

How often do you find yourself using the word "honestly" in conversation? I've noticed myself using it more often lately, and now I'm beginning to pick it out more in conversations that I've had, and ones that I've just overheard.

It seems innocent enough. In most cases it seems to be used as a form of apology as in "Honestly, I don't know where it is." or to put emphasis on a something. The more I think about its use, the more bothersome it seems that it's being used in such a way. To have to preface a statement with "honestly" sets off an alarm that says "Wait.. you weren't being honest about the rest of that? .. or you're being MORE honest about this somehow?"

I know that this isn't the normal reaction people have when something is "honestly" said to them, but I've been trying to focus a lot on the thoughts that are going on behind the scenes, the subconscious stuff that I can actually dig at, and that was one reaction I found that caught me off guard. I wonder if other people internally react to it the same way, and maybe don't realize it?

Anyway, I was just thinking how great and how much better off things would be if people didn't have to feel the need to stress that the next thing that they're about to say is true. Anyone else?

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Stop wasting everyone's time

Brad Isaac posted an excellent article on his Achieve It! blog about getting answers to life's toughest questions.

What really struck me about the post was that I could see myself (a lot in the last few weeks) making a mess of things in my life by asking the wrong question and getting frustrated by the answer that I got back. I'd suggest reading the post for yourself, but I'll briefly go over what stuck in my head – I know I'm not doing the article justice, but bear with me.

  • When you need an answer to a question, be direct and actually ask the question. Don't over-generalize what you're asking, because the answer you get will reflect that.
  • Be prepared to take in the answer that you get. Make sure you remember it.. write it down. Getting the perfect answer doesn't matter if you just forget it.
  • But most importantly, use your new information wisely. If you're looking for advice, and you get it, you need to act on it. You need to be ready to act on it right away. Once again, the best answer is meaningless if you don't do anything with it.

It's simple. It makes sense. But for some reason I haven't been doing it, and looking at the way I've handled things before, it might actually be a change that I need to actively work at.

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