The Spider Chronicles



Every morning for the last week or so, I've been greeted by an amazing display of talent and architecture.. on my car door.. in the form of a spider-web. The first morning the web was about 6 inches in diameter, a decent sized web, especially considering that it was made in one night – I'm not sure how fast spiders can build webs, but I was impressed by this one. It wasn't just the size, but the spacing between the strands was almost perfect. The web spanned from the outer corner of my mirror to the door. I left the web alone, assuming that the drive to work would displace it, I clearly underestimated the strength of spider webs – it was completely unscathed.

I think it's important to mention at this point that I absolutely hate spiders, they give me the creeps.

The next morning I removed the web. After work there was no sign of an attempt to rebuild the web, so I figured maybe he had found a new home since the last morning. But no, he was just waiting until nightfall to retaliate. The next morning the web was probably just over 10 inches in diameter, and was an absolute mess. The web could not have effectively caught any insects, it was clearly meant as a warning for me. It was quickly removed.

This trend has continued – me clearing the web off in the morning, him rebuilding at night, and me finding a bigger, and more precisely formed web the next morning. This morning he had picked different points on the door to put the corners of the web, making the web over a foot wide, and once again with the perfectly spaced precision between the strands. He's getting stronger, faster and more accurate. And on the way to work, he peaked out from my mirror to taunt me. I was picturing a little spider doing this amazing feat, but this guy was enormous.

Did I mention that spiders absolutely creep me out?

It's my determination that this spider has given up on insects and decided that I am not only his new enemy, but also his new prey. He is taunting me, his methods and skills are improving allowing him to create massive webs in short amounts of time.. he's training. And that is why tonight he must be removed. I'm not big on the idea of killing him, out of respect *cough* fear *cough*, so I have to come up with a way to out him from the mirror that he is now calling home. It's either him or me.

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10 Comments »

  1. spudart (890 comments) said,

    haha! funny! You should title this, "Giant spider builds webs to capture humans"

    August 13, 2008 @ 5:36 pm


  2. spudart (890 comments) said,

    oh is the grammar right? that multiple plural sounds weird.

    August 13, 2008 @ 5:43 pm


  3. sparx (882 comments) said,

    It is.. but since he's only after me, I've changed it to "human"

    August 13, 2008 @ 5:45 pm


  4. sparx (882 comments) said,

    It's also raining like crazy (my car bottomed out in a few huge puddles because of the flash flooding) so he gets to stick around for a little longer I guess.

    August 13, 2008 @ 5:46 pm


  5. sparx (882 comments) said,

    This morning's web was considerably smaller. I think he's trying to psych me out. Maybe I'll let him stick around a little longer, since for some reason I'm kind of enjoying the interaction.

    August 14, 2008 @ 10:39 am


  6. sparx (882 comments) said,

    Ok, this chapter has come to an end. You know what's crazy? Spiders that jump at you… and when a crazy spider jumps at you, when it lands on the ground you might forget all about your "I don't want to kill it" stance.

    There is now a stomped arachnid at the gas station.

    August 14, 2008 @ 9:38 pm


  7. unlikelymoose (375 comments) said,

    This is a great story. I love it. Just don't tell the spider where you sleep at night.

    August 16, 2008 @ 11:05 am


  8. spudart (890 comments) said,

    The spider was competiting in the spider web category in the olympics. You just destroyed its hopes for gold. Good job.

    August 16, 2008 @ 6:35 pm


  9. spudart (890 comments) said,

    Did the spider web look like any of these? http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/08/spider-webs-glamour-architecture.html

    August 19, 2008 @ 4:59 pm


  10. sparx (882 comments) said,

    Wow.. some of those are pretty incredible – even the creepy huge "cover the entire area with web! we're gonna catch an elephant!" ones.

    August 19, 2008 @ 10:07 pm


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