It's been a long year.. one of my most trying yet.. another move, a failed relationship that I wish had never even started, and a failed re-attempt at a relationship that I really wish I could have done better at. I've grown more distant from parts of my family, even ended up despising one of them so strongly that I really think I might (for once in my life) become somewhat (very) violent if circumstances drifted that way. There are a lot of negatives that I could go on about, because that's what my mind tends to focus on – the mistakes.

But not today.

Today is a day to think about everything that's good. To celebrate what we have, not what we've lost. To show gratitude to friends and family for just being there and being supportive. And, for me, to remind my stomach that thanksgiving was just the warm-up.

So, to all the people that have stuck by me, lent me their support, cheered me up when I was down, got me drunk when I was sober, made me get up and sing on stage/at the bars/in the coffee shop when I got a bit of stage fright, shared my homemade pizza, accompanied me for "hangover breakfasts", gave me a chance – even though I ultimately blew it, donated furniture to my apartment.. and anyone else that made any effort to care – thank you. You are what today is about. And I stuff myself with food in celebration of you.

Merry Christmas.

Of course I waited until Saturday to even start my Christmas shopping this year.. I just wouldn't be me if I didn't wait until the (almost) last minute to do it. There was one year, a few back, where I actually had everything done and wrapped a couple weeks beforehand, but where's the fun in that?

No, it's much more fun to wait until the foggiest day of the year, when I know everyone else will be flooding into the exact same stores that I'm planning to visit. It was pretty uneventful, but there were a few times that I had to get pretty aggressive with my driving. It was like I was suddenly driving in Illinois (no offense to you Illinoisian drivers, you already know that you can't drive worth crap.)

What surprises me, every year, is how angry and ridiculous people can get. It's like they really don't realize that if they wait until the weekend before Christmas, there are going to be a lot of people shopping. And they all seem to think that for some reason they shouldn't have to wait for the people that got there before them.. and they get angry. I've never seen so many people looking so upset before, even compared to last year, I was shocked. So I made it my mission to smile the entire time, and say "hi" to anyone that made eye-contact.

The holidays aren't about angrily shuffling through aisles and lines in a store, they aren't about wading through the sea of people and "50% Off!" signs that litter the store,  it's about celebrating. Peace, joy, happiness, faith – the things that make life worth living, and sharing those things with the people you care about.

If only one of the smiles that was returned to me lasted past the checkout line, if only one person's day was slightly brighter because someone walking through the store realized how ridiculous it all was and tried to do something small to lift things up – then I'm glad I waited til the last minute.

Next year I'll go shopping dressed as a reindeer.