I've lost family members before, but they've always been the "second aunt twice removed that I met once when I was 6" kind. I've never really lost anyone that I *KNEW* much less that I was close to or cared about.
Yesterday my grandma passed away. The gravity of that is hitting me off and on.
Me, my sister, my cousin, my grandpa, and my dad had gone to lunch with her, we went to the menswear store next door that's having a going out of business sale after almost 150 years (where she tried to get me to let her buy me a corduroy sports coat), we went to the coffee shop, and then she wanted to go see how much further we had come on the house that my dad is building.
What was a really good day ended with us watching her faint on my dad and not get back up. The rest of the day was filled with phone calls, emergency crews, sitting in the hospital, and getting kind of annoyed but still appreciating all the staff saying "I'm sorry for your loss".
I'm glad I was there to try to help and was able to spend the day with her before she went, but as I found out last night, these images and memories are fuel for horrible dreams.
She was an incredible person, and an amazing grandma.