Dear Future Parents



Hey there future parents!

I'm writing this blog post to you to prepare you for one of the most important decisions you can make regarding the upbringing of your spawn: the naming.

The name you choose can affect your dependent in ways you can't even imagine. Naming your kid "Stinky" could give him the drive to revolutionize the deodorant industry, or such an intense hatred of humanity.. that… unthinkable things!

While the welfare and life of the child is important, what's even MORE important is how awesome the name would look in a history book. You should assume that your new lifeform is going to fully harness the power of the force (either the light or dark side) and will become the most famous person to have ever existed (or maybe even the first person to walk on Mars!). And they should be named as such.

Here are a few potential names, although I'm sure you can come up with better ones:
T-Rex
Optimus Prime
Leader of the Revolution
El Presidente
Al Dente
Burrito Supreme
Supreme Commander
Doomslayer
Doombringer
He-Man
Skeletor
Zombiebane
Annihilator
Infinity
Obelisk

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7 Comments »

  1. unlikelymoose (375 comments) said,

    My wife shot down naming our newborn baby's middle name "Maximus". I love Greek and Roman names. Instead we went with "Xavier" for the middle name.

    April 27, 2010 @ 10:16 am


  2. unlikelymoose (375 comments) said,

    my wife shot down "Maximus" simply for the reason that she thought it was Transformer name. I could not convince her that there is no Transformer named "Maximus".

    April 27, 2010 @ 10:21 am


  3. sparx (882 comments) said,

    Xavier is a great middle name.
    You hit Star Wars AND X-Men!

    April 27, 2010 @ 10:28 am


  4. Tom (112 comments) said,

    So baby Luke finally has a middle name! And a SWEET one at that!

    I've never really wanted kids, but ever since reading this post, I want one, I want one right now so I can name it Nachos Belle Grande

    April 27, 2010 @ 1:26 pm


  5. spudart (890 comments) said,

    Uh, Fortress Maximus? Headmaster Leader/Earth Defense Commander whose motto is "Prepare for war, but strive for peace." Did you know that Spike Witwicky transforms into Fortress Maximus' head?

    April 28, 2010 @ 10:39 pm


  6. spudart (890 comments) said,

    We don't hear anything from moose about Fortress Maximus.

    May 3, 2010 @ 8:56 pm


  7. unlikelymoose (375 comments) said,

    Does Fortress Maximus really count? I mean he was just a way for Hasbro to sell really, really big and expensive toys. I refuse to accept Fortress Maximus as a real Transformer. He's more like a go-bot; just kidding. In fact, Fortress Maximus is the anti-go-bot.

    June 18, 2010 @ 3:30 pm


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