Hey, Science! You're seriously slacking here guy.

Where are the fleets of human spacecraft scouring the universe looking for conflict?

Where are the nifty transporters that rip you apart atom by atom and then reassemble you somewhere else?

Where are the hot green alien chicks? How come people that wear red shirts aren't the only ones that ever die?

But most importantly – Where are the Phasers?!

I know, the world isn't ready for a weapon whose dial changes its lethality from "stun" all the way to "vaporize that jerk!", but you know who IS ready for it? Me. I am. So, Science,  let's get crackin on this, because right now, the best you've done is given me this REPLICA Star Trek Phaser. It's cool and everything, but it won't defend me against Klingons… or Sylar.

This one caught me off guard too!

Apostrophic! It sounds neat… like a catastrophe mixed with punctuation.

It's totally something you can say when someone screws up and puts an apostrophe in words that don't need it. Like if someone turned "font" into "fon't" (it was me, i'll admit it) – that is APOSTROPHIC!

I thought it was possible, but unlikely, that I had coined a new phrase in response to a conversation about garage sales. Alas, the term "garage sailing" has already been coined.

Still, regardless of who first used it – I think it's a much cooler alternative to telling someone you're "going to a garage sale" or "having a garage sale" (it can be used in both capacities).

Q: What are you doing today?
A: Oh, just… GARAGE SAILING!

The nautical tie-in opens up a world of possibilities. Except I wouldn't recommend resorting to piracy – unless the garage sale happens to be on international waters.

So, I decided to take a few minutes to create a site full of pez related auctions. And yes, that means that I've finished rewriting my wordpress ebay plugin – it's now a self contained content management system, rather than sitting on top of wordpress or any other software.

When I was searching for popular types of pez dispensers, one that popped into mind was Transformers. Surely I had seen Transformers Pez Dispensers before, I was absolutely certain of it.. but you know what? I couldn't find them anywhere.

Did I imagine these? Are they so rare that they appear as if they don't actually exist?

What gives?

I've come up with an easy method for determining the Awesomeness-Level of co-workers (or any other group that you frequently associate with).

It's quite simple – here's how!

Figure out approximately how many people you can have real conversations with. By "real" I mean: things that you're mutually interested in, things that one of you are interested in but the other person doesn't keep thinking to themselves "lalala don't care, are you done talking yet", and random things like zombie invasions…… Actually, scratch all that – just figure out how many people you can talk to about zombie invasions.

I estimate that I can carry on a conversation about zombie invasions with 10% of my co-workers, which gives my co-workers an Awesomeness-Level of 10. If I do the same with my friends, they end up with an Awesomeness-Level of about 85.

See! Incredibly easy and highly accurate! Obviously this entire metric gets skewed when we're actually in the middle of a zombie invasion, but when that time comes, I'll broadcast a new system on all emergency radio frequencies.

We've had it easy, as far as saying the year goes, for some time now. Rather than having to refer to 1999 as "nineteen ninety nine", we could just call it "ninety nine", 2001-2009 has just been "oh-whatever". I like saying "oh-nine", it's fun. But now we're coming up on "ten".

"What year is your car?" – "Ten"… no. It doesn't sound right. "Two-thousand ten" sounds too wordy, but it's only one syllable longer than "Twenty ten".

I'm not sure what the "correct" form is, but I think I'm going to stick with the "oh" convention. I think "oh ten" is slightly awkward, but it kind of has a nice ring to it.

What do you think? How do you say "2010"?

Sometimes you need to emphasize things when you're speaking. Like bold text for words. So what do you do? You can raise your voice, or change your tone.. maybe even add a dramatic pause – but I'll do you one better: Jazz hands.

That's right. When you want to really drive home a point, put your hands up in the air, spread your fingers apart, and JAZZ HANDS.